Category: Stages Of Life

Another New Beginning... Let's Make it Last!

1/1/2017

Ah, the New Year begins. January is a month filled with adrenaline-driven goals for a year of more success, love, and fulfillment than the previous. We are all so eager to jot down our top 3 goals for 2016 in hopes that placing all of our energy in them initially will make these tasks more sustainable. Then what happens? Life.

How can we use this extraordinary momentum that we have in the start of the New Year and stretch it out, allowing our once fizzled goals of previous New Years to come alive again, to show promise of change and evolution? Here are my three recommendations on making New Year resolutions more achievable.

                    1. Instead of settling for 1 goal that takes a long time to accomplish (over 3 months), chunk it into multiple, shorter goals. This will allow you to give yourself some extra reinforcement during your journey (that day off of work, that piece of clothing you've had your eye on, or that chocolate pie in your refrigerator). These "mini-breaks" will lessen the stress on your mind and give you opportunity to be proud of yourself.
                    2. Be realistic. Resolutions should be individualized to you in every way possible. Whatever your reason for invoking change in your life, the process needs to be fitted to who you are, what you know your limits to be and how do-able the tasks you set for yourself are. Be kind. This is a New Year so start it off by loving who you are and respecting what your mind, body and emotional well-being can handle.
                    3. Make it fun! Delve into your creative juices and find any way to make this goal less grueling and more exciting. Are you competitive? Ask a friend or significant other to join and see who can reach their goal first, encouraging each other along the way. Are you motivated by positive feedback? Create a blog or journal about your adventure and invite those you care about to follow. Like to be wild and let loose? Complete your adventure doing something silly, such as wearing a tutu while running in the 5 K you signed up for.

Whatever your resolution, remember to prioritize your health and happiness. Welcoming 2016 with open arms and sending positivity and well-wishes to all of you dreamers out there. Happy New Year!

Stephanie P. Bathurst, MA, LCMFT
Marriage and Family Therapy

0 Comments

Empty Nest Syndrome

2/17/2016

0 Comments

A couple's empty nest; the time when all of the kids fly out into the world and the once busied household is silenced. This is a life-stage in a relationship when each partner is forced to adapt BACK to a time when they only had each other to focus on, talk to, emotionally connect with and humor. The distraction of kids significantly lessens, leaving either contentment in a couple that has been able to maintain their coupldom, or leaving awkward confusion in a couple who has lost each other along the way of raising children.

This is a highly emotional stage, met with mixed emotions and potential straining on the parental relationship. Often, I find that this period is perceived as sad, a loss of familial closeness and sometimes a realization that you have lost how to be a partner and not merely a co-parent. Let's try a re-frame of the situation for a more positive and future-oriented thinking pattern.

Saying goodbye to a cycle in your life, especially one as big as a household filled with bustling kids, is sad. We need to accept the ending of this stage, and the uncomfortable emotion that comes along with it. While coping with this loss, ruminate on the positive aspects.

Life has given you and your partner time to reconnect and re-discover each other. Walk around the house naked, try out that adventurous curry chicken recipe for date night, be spontaneous together! Conversations will slowly cease being monopolized by the adventures of your kids, but rather your own adventures you take with your partner. You have entered into a new phase in your life. In this, you can watch your kids grow into independent adults as your relationship begins to flourish with the attention you now have time to give it.

Stephanie P. Bathurst, MA, LCMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist

0 Comments

Author

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, my professional passion is helping couples to identify happiness and security in the confusion of societal pressures.

I have worked within many different domains in the field of Therapy and across all client demographics. Both personally and professionally, these writings are brought with hopes for insight, discussion and debate. To help us all continue to grow and evolutionize ourselves through knowledge.

Another New Beginning... Let's Make it Last!

Empty Nest Syndrome

Author

Archives

Categories