Instead, let’s try, “They choose to be mine and I choose to be theirs.”
“As a spouse, I am entitled to my partner’s time.”
Instead, let’s try, “I want to spend time with my partner.”
“It’s my duty to have sex when my partner is interested.”
Instead, let’s try, “I enjoy experiencing intimacy with my partner.”
I invite us all to embrace personal choice and freedom in our relationships. This requires consciously releasing the rigidity of commitment, at least in the context that our societal history of oppression and hierarchy have shaped. Be mindful of the way that you are organically processing and absorbing your definition of commitment in your own relationship. Are there inadvertent signs of possession in your narrative? The good thing: What is learned, can be unlearned. YOU have the power and the ability to re-write your own narrative of love.
When you have an intention toward change, you create opportunity for it to come to fruition. 1. Develop awareness, 2. Identify your intention and 3. Invoke positive change for yourself.
Stephanie P. Bathurst, Ph.D ABD, LCMFT
Board Certified Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Therapist