Future Founders Podcast Interview with Dr. Stephanie Bathurst

Future Founders Podcast Interview 4/14/25

1. YOUR FOUNDING JOURNEY

The moment that truly shifted everything for me was walking into an orphanage during a mission trip to Honduras. It wasn’t just what I saw—it was what I felt. I was surrounded by children who were deeply touch-starved. You could feel it immediately in the way they reached, the way they held on, the way their bodies were asking for connection before words ever could. And as a natural empath, it activated something in me that I couldn’t unsee—a deeper truth that this isn’t just about children in orphanages. This is everywhere.

We’re living in a world filled with not just children, but adults who exist in a chronic state of loneliness and connection deprivation—they’ve just learned how to hide it better. That experience solidified my mission: to actively participate in healing the world’s pain by expanding love through the way we relate to one another.

Connection isn’t a luxury—it’s biological. The need to be seen, held, touched, and chosen is embedded in our DNA, and when that need goes unmet, it doesn’t just disappear—it shows up as disconnection, anxiety, depression, resentment, addiction, infidelity, and insecure attachment.

Within my 15 years as a relationship therapist, I noticed something consistent—couples weren’t just coming in for communication issues, they were coming in with deep struggles around physical intimacy, as well. And what stood out to me is that most relationship therapists are never trained in that area (neither was I in my masters program), so it’s often excluded from the healing process entirely. For me, that makes no sense. How can you fully heal a relationship system while excluding one of its most fundamental human needs: intimacy and sex?

That’s what led me to pursue my PhD in clinical sexology with a secondary track as a kink conscious therapist to support marginalized communities. This just felt like a natural extension of what my clients were already asking for. Because intimacy isn’t separate from emotional connection—it’s deeply integrated into it. When you isolate physical intimacy from romance, you’re not treating the whole system, you’re treating fragments of it.

That realization is what led me to create Flow Relationship Energy Theory™ and the 8 Forms of Intimacy framework because just like I do, these treatment models view relationships as living, energetic systems. 

At the core, relationships are about exchange, right? —how energy is given, received, reciprocated, or withheld. When that exchange is balanced, relationships thrive. When it’s not, patterns repeat no matter how much surface-level work is done. This is why so many couples find themselves back in couples therapy 1-2 yers after “fixing things” with a therapist —because they never actually resolved the core energetic insufficiencies that drove the dysfunction in the first place.

I’m not just improving relationships—we’re resolving the patterns that keep breaking them, which are the patterns that get transmitted through modeling and epigenetic across generations. If we, as a collective, can resolve these systemic dysfunctions, we end the generational trauma process. 

Like common. Is there any better purpose in life?

🧩 2. CURRENT BUSINESS MODEL & WHAT YOU DO

I genuinely love what I do—I see myself less as a traditional therapist and more as an investigator and holistic healer.

My role is to identify what’s actually driving dysfunction at the root level, because I truly believe clients and therapists could save up to 50% of the time, money, and emotional energy in the healing process if we started by distinguishing core wounds from secondary ones.

What often happens is couples spend years in therapy addressing surface-level injuries—repeating cycles, revisiting different conflicts—when in reality, many of those are secondary expressions of one or two primary wounds. We could spend two years in weekly sessions working through multiple betrayal healing protocols that are unnecessary if we first identify and focus on the initial or most significant wounds that created the pattern. When you heal with intention, the process doesn’t have to be prolonged.

That philosophy is what led me to develop Flow Relationship Energy Theory™. I was searching for a way to reduce unnecessary pain and create more efficient, meaningful transformation. What kept presenting itself over and over again was energetic insufficiency between partners—imbalances in how emotional, physical, and relational energy was being exchanged.

Most models treat symptoms. I treat the system.

That’s also what differentiates my work and contributed to me becoming a 10x global award-winning provider—I chose not to follow the traditional structure of the healthcare system.

From my perspective, very good providers want you to heal as quickly as possible because our entire role is to help you become fully self-sufficient—to the point where you no longer need us. That model is hard to find because it doesn’t always align with traditional business structures.

So for any private practice founders, it becomes about finding a balance. To build a successful business without sacrificing your ethics, you have to get creative—whether that’s through passive income streams or high-ticket offers like my retreats. You don’t have to sell your soul to bro marketing or insurance systems to be successful. You can be an excellent therapist and still build a life that supports you and your family.

In the conventional model, therapy is often structured as 50-minute sessions over extended periods of time. But that format doesn’t always align with how transformation actually happens.

In my couples intimacy-building retreats, we spend 4–5 hours per day in focused, one-on-one workshop work before transitioning into experiences that allow the nervous system to integrate and decompress. My private sessions are also intentionally extended beyond the traditional hour when needed.

And what I’ve consistently seen is that couples can achieve the same level of growth and transformation in 5 consecutive days of immersive work that might otherwise take years in weekly sessions.

So my model is built around depth, immersion, and efficiency—healing with intention, rather than prolonging the process.

Because when you identify and treat the true root of dysfunction, transformation doesn’t have to take years—it can happen much faster and with far less unnecessary pain.

🚧 3. CHALLENGES & WHAT YOU’RE SOLVING

One of the biggest challenges I’ve been navigating is how to scale this level of transformation without losing the depth and integrity of the work—and also making sure I’m attracting the right-fit clients.

Marketing in a way that feels aligned and ethical has honestly been a journey. I’ve had multiple teams tell me to niche down because it would be easier to communicate what I do quickly and clearly. And I understand that strategy—but I chose not to follow it.

Because my niche is that I don’t fit into one box.

I’m essentially seven providers in one. I treat the whole person and the entire relationship system to create both rapid and long-term success. I integrate relationship therapy, clinical intimacy work, pelvic floor conditioning, integrative nutrition for mental and relational health, EMDR trauma processing, somatic healing, and yoga-based practices that help people reconnect with their bodies and expand intimacy from within.

I work with complex cases—and I genuinely love it. I’m energized by the challenge, and there’s something really meaningful about helping individuals and couples who haven’t found success anywhere else. Those are the people who need this work the most, and they deserve a model that actually meets them fully.

Another active challenge I’m navigating right now is how much I want to intertwine both of my “business babies”—Bathurst Family Therapy and Ola Aina Farms.

I have this vision of hosting retreats on the farm—doing deep relational work in the morning, then stepping into lavender fields or into an apitherapy space where clients can regulate their nervous systems with the sound and frequency of beehives humming. Creating environments where healing isn’t just something you talk about—it’s something you actually experience through nature, through the body, through all the senses.

That part is still evolving, but it’s a big piece of where I’m going.

I’m also kind of going through a personal evolution in this process. Since moving my family to Hawaiʻi three years ago, things have shifted for me—not just professionally, but personally and spiritually. My brand is moving away from this hyper-focus on professionalism and more toward authenticity and holistic living.

Because at this point, I’m in the top tier of my field—I don’t feel the need to prove my expertise anymore. I’m more focused on embodiment now.

And that’s shaping how I grow the business.

I’m launching a course on Flow Relationship Energy Theory™, expanding into global women’s wellness and couples retreats, and really designing a life that feels aligned, fulfilling, and meaningful.

Because clients feel that.

When I’m grounded, fulfilled, and fully expressed in my own life, that becomes the foundation I bring into every space I work in.

So what I’m really solving isn’t just inefficient therapy—it’s disjointed healing.

And the solution is creating something that’s integrated, aligned, and actually works in a real, lasting way.

🚀 4. VISION & WHERE YOU’RE GOING

Right now, my focus is really on scaling this work in a way that creates both impact and freedom.

Over the next 6 to 12 months, I’m expanding in three main directions. First is growing my digital education—I’m doing free weekday beach meditation livestreams for anyone looking for community, grounding, and a space to reconnect, while also launching and scaling my Flow Relationship Energy Theory™ course so more people can access these tools without needing to be in a private setting with me.

Second is expanding my retreats globally—both couples intimacy retreats and women’s wellness retreats. I want to create immersive experiences all over the world where people can step out of their environment and fully reset, reconnect, and transform.

And third is continuing to build out Ola Aina Farms as a community-based healing space. That’s a big vision of mine—integrating therapy, nature, nervous system work, and holistic health into one environment where people can actually live and experience healing, not just talk about it.

A big part of this expansion is also teaching people how to properly understand and align their energetic contributions within a relationship through my 8 Forms of Intimacy™.

Most people are familiar with The 5 Love Languages, and that framework is incredibly valuable—but I teach that it’s only part of the equation.

If love languages are the arrow in which you express your love, the 8 Forms of Intimacy™ are the direction in which you’re aiming that arrow.

And if you’re missing alignment in even one of those forms, it creates an opportunity for energy drain in the relationship. Because you can be giving 100% effort—but if it’s not landing in the way your partner actually needs, they may only receive a fraction of that energy, which means there’s very little being recirculated back into the system. I.e. the root cause of dysfunction,

So… a major focus moving forward is helping individuals and couples not just give more—but give in ways that are aligned, received, and reciprocated.

From a business standpoint, the goal is to build a model that balances high-impact experiences with scalable offerings—so I can reach more people without sacrificing the quality of transformation AND without destroying my freedoms as the creator in the process.

I’m also working on a few books right now, so publishing will naturally be a next step as well—another way to expand access to this work on a larger scale.

If I had unlimited resources, I would create a global network of these healing environments—places where people could come not just for retreats, but for ongoing learning, regulation, and connection. Almost like a new model of preventative healthcare, but rooted in relationships, nervous system health, and community.

I envision this model expanding beyond just direct client care in the future— training and certifying other practitioners in Flow Relationship Energy Theory™, so this work can reach far beyond me, as it should. 

 ultimately, this isn’t just about building a business—it’s about shifting how we understand relationships, healing, and emotional wellbeing on a macro social scale.

⚡ 5. CLOSING / ADVICE

If there’s one thing I’ve learned—both as a clinician and as a founder—it’s that most people are trying to solve the right problem in the wrong place.

We spend so much time focusing on what’s visible—communication, behavior, surface-level conflict, addiction, infidelity—when the real issue is usually something deeper that hasn’t been properly identified.

So. my biggest advice, whether you’re building a business or working on your relationship, is to slow down long enough to actually understand the root of what you’re trying to heal. Without that knowledge first, you’re shooting in the dark and hoping it lands.

 once you identify the true core issue, everything else becomes more efficient, more intentional, and honestly, a lot less painful.

From a founder perspective, I would also encourage my younger successors—don’t dilute your work just to make it easier to market.

There were so many moments where I was told to simplify, to niche down, to fit into something more easily digestible/ thatI was too complicated and confusing for clients to connect. But I knew the depth of what I was offering mattered more than how quickly it could be explained.

And the right people will feel that. Always. 

So build something that actually works—not just something that sells.

Trust that when you’re aligned and when you’re fully embodied in you’re unique process, people can feel that authenticity before they even understand the details.

Because at the end of the day, whether it’s business or relationships, it all comes back to the same thing—

alignment, intention, and how you choose to show up in the spaces that matter most.

Start paying attention to where your energy isn’t being received—that’s where your energy is leaking. Reallocate from all of those drain sources into creations that feed your soul. 

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Free quiz MYFLOWTYPES, find me on IG, TIK, FB @phd.relationship.therapist 

book a retreat at bathurstfamilytherapy.com

I’m soon Launching a course to learn everything you need to know Relationship Energy Theory