Love & Possession

​At first glance, these words seem to oppose one another. And in a healthy system, they do. So why do we, in normative culture, make romanticized expressions of love that glorify possession  of our partner as a sort of rite of passage within a relationship?

​A healthy union does not rely solely on commitment or obligation to one another. Wouldn’t you prefer to wake up every day knowing that your partner chooses to be with you all over again? Try out these narrative reframes and see how they feel differently for you:

“They are mine and I am theirs.”
Instead, let’s try, “They choose to be mine and I choose to be theirs.”
​
“As a spouse, I am entitled to my partner’s time.”
Instead, let’s try, “I want to spend time with my partner.”

​ “It’s my duty to have sex when my partner is interested.”
Instead, let’s try,  “I enjoy experiencing intimacy with my partner.”