Arousal Template - Defining Your Sexual Self

April 26, 2019

When you think of the phrase 'arousal template', what do you think of?

W ell, when you do a google search, the literature on arousal templates seem to be linked to sex addiction and recovery. Dr. Patrick Carnes originally defined a person's arousal template as a compilation of thoughts, images, behaviors, sounds, smells, sights, fantasies, and objects that sexually arouse us.

In an effort to model sex positivity in larger American culture, I want to challenge the tether between arousal templates and the limiting singular intention of treating sexual addiction. The evolution of your arousal template can act to embrace sexual enlightenment and can come from loving all that is you... which can be a healthy, beautiful thing.

Sex Positive!

Let's make a choice to veer away from automatic pathology of sex. In my clinical belief, every human being has an inherent arousal template (we are developed with evolutionary drives to procreate and belong to a larger social group). The arousal template itself is a neutral entity.

Could portions of it encapsulate unhealthy frameworks of sexuality (like addiction or abuse) or be built on negative life experiences, such as sexual trauma or gender-shaming? Absolutely.

This is part of why identifying your own unique template is so important. So that we can be mindful of our own needs, wants and limitations within and outside of the bedroom. And so that our partner(s) have access to the information needed to show respect to our needs, wants or limitations.

what's an arousal template made of?

reflect

It's impossible to communicate what we want / don't want to those that we connect with if we are unsure ourselves. This activity helps make your template concrete enough to be verbalized in a clear way that can be understood by a partner. If you are celebrating life without a committed partner, this activity helps confirm the many aspects of your arousal template so that you can better love yourself in all of your unique glory.

Enjoy yourselves and each other. ;)